Monday, February 20, 2006

Agenda theory applications in the Seattle metro

After over a year of working in Sioux Falls, I realized how much more kks and I have become acquainted. Three hours a day once eaten up by commuting makes a huge difference. Part of that commute, kks is in the car. By no means are we having deep conversations--but we learn each other's rhythms and tendencies in ways once lost into the vortex of time from commuting. I am blessed to be able to take kks to child care--see what she does, with whom she relates.

This week in the Seattle metro differs from many visits. The agenda is not packed. Kks and I just hang out, with no particular place to be or go. At least there is no rush. We appreciate each other's presence that way, at least the depth of that appreciation is expanded. We enjoy simple things like eating together or chatting with the family.

My family is beginning to believe in agenda theory. Agenda theory and kks means that her enjoyment in the presence of a person relates to the detail of the agenda attached with that relationship. I have an agenda. Eat, clean up, bathe, get dressed, read a book, fix the hair. Agenda. Mom has an agenda. Preschool teachers have an agenda. Grandma has an agenda. Grandpa doesn't have an agenda. An uncle of kks doesn't have an agenda. Kks adores those without an agenda. Those who have an agenda are not completely written off--but the level of adoration is significant. I think we all carry an agenda detector--but the conditions under which we use it evolves and becomes more complex. Who likes to be around someone who has an agenda for how we're going to live our lives? I have learned agenda theory from kks in its purest form.

Kks has shared love with everyone this week, and that has been endearing to watch. Sometimes I envy those who live close to their families--the image of a strong, healthy root system of an old tree comes to mind. However, I also know that close proximity does not guarantee healthy intimacy. I hope that kks learns the value of her roots while learning relationships that thrive.


Post a Comment

<< Home